Friday, December 25, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Long time no see,eh? Yeah! This blog has become impotent. The content is occasionally updated and an overwhelming majority of the traffic coming in consists of people who were looking for porn. Statistics speak quite loud: 12 out of the last 20 hits had searched for words like "porn" and its cousins.
You see, I am totally lost. I have no "purpose". I'd mentioned in past post about my gray matter decaying. My response time is now on an all time low. My memory is failing me. The crazy sarcastic whiner in me is dead. I have lost the force to oppose inertia, to reason to ask questions and the balls to fight the inertness. Life suddenly is not a bitch anymore....
Have I become a defeatist? I don't know. What I know is that this state of despondent fatalism is brain's way of committing euthanasia. Its desperate attempt to save itself from disintegration. This morose state is here to stay until I find some sunshine.
Q. Whats your problem?
A. I don't have time or the energy to explain this.
Q. Is crying over the corpse going to help?
A. No, it wont. But talking to you will not help me either.
Q. There are so many people who's lives are worse. Why do you get discouraged?
A. Are you ready to skip your lunch and dinner because 1 billion people are starving and still feel good about yourself?
Q. God has plans for you. Why worry?
A. (start counting from 100 to 0).
(This one is the worst of the lot)
Q. Hows Life?
The melancholiness gets compounded when people surrounding me act in ways that cannot be explained. People I once thought were friends act like foes now... their attitude repulsive. Acknowledging each others presence is a big shit of a deal for many. Deceit and hatred dictate the order of the day. Every person in workplace and outside is jealous, greedy and constantly scheming and plotting against someone. Each one is building a bridge of corpses to reach the top. It really doesn't matter whose corpse it is.
Was the Nefarious Sentient Being right when he said that heavens can only be reached by climbing the tower of cadaver? Was I stupid in believing "evil is evil"? Are conscience and compassion the enemies of perpetuance? Was Spinoza right when he said "humility is the hypocrisy of a schemer or timidity of a slave" ? Reminds me of this line by Uchiha Itachi, "You are weak. Why are you weak? Because you lack ... hatred."
Where is peace? Where is serenity? Where is the atonement? Live yet another day expecting the dawn to bring deliverance.... and continue to dream of sitting in Dogen's temple sipping tea with the monks. Amor fati people, amor fati.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Hell! You should've seen posts with "Things that I learnt blah blah" title in a zillion blogs. This one is slightly different.
Lemme get started.
- Murphy's law is the most fundamental law in the universe. (To hell with what physicists say)
- Brutal self delusional optimism is not good. You only end up creating a fool out of yourself.
- Don't try to fall in love. Trying and pretending to fall in love when you don't know what love is will only make it worse.
- Don't be an outspoken atheist. Keep your enlightenment up to yourselves. People are fools and will continue to be so.
- People will not love you for what you are. Give them what they want and everyone will be happy.
- Approachable + Open + Sweet = Vulnerable asshole.
- Aggressive + Plangent + Rich = Greek God. (looks don't matter)
- Think before you say "Yes".
- People will be nice to you. Don't fall for it. There is a greedy wolf in everyman and a selfish bitch in every woman.
- 99% perspiration + 1% inspiration = 100% Bullshit. If you believe that hard work will lead to success then explain how unworthy jerks succeed.
- Don't feel pity for others. They don't deserve it.
The last one was told by a consultant in one of the programs which I'd attended. Here it goes:
P.S. The above words were just a small subset of the boundless wisdom of the TCM.
Monday, June 8, 2009
An nyoung Readers,
My life has been full of shit. Nothing bad has happened but then its not what it used to be before. I've lost the interest to write. Blogging is spontaneous... it just happens. Its the interest that I don't have. Now I know why people begin cribbing once they start working. I feel my gray matter is decaying. I am slow. The processing speed has become worse than a Celeron machine. I cant crack the "connect quizzes" like I used to. Weekends go wasted. Sleep and sleep more. My successive posts are becoming progressively bad. Worse, they are becoming mediocre.
Happiness is not something that persists for long. Universe just fucks the happiness out of my life. I don't know where I am heading. I feel like a formula-1 driver driving blindfolded.
The song "Space-Dye Vest" by Dream Theater captures this moment just right. Do listen to it. Trust me, its hard for any human being to dislike it. Don't blame me if this song starts haunting you.
Last few lines go like this:
"There's no one to take my blame
if they wanted to
There's nothing to keep me sane
and it's all the same to you
There's nowhere to set my aim
so I'm everywhere
Never come near me again
do you really think I need you
I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.
I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.
And I'll smile and I'll learn to pretend
And I'll never be open again
And I'll have no more dreams to defend
And I'll never be open again"
My guitarist friend Syd deserves a special mention here for telling me about this song. A million Thanks buddy. I love the way the whole band kicks in at the end. Bless Kevin Moore. Portnoy's drums are flawless as usual. Cant even think of playing this song... I fuck things up badly when I play 16th notes.
Hope the much needed "come back" will happen soon. Bye till then.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Nin Hao People,
Quote of the Month is back.... and I plan to take this blog a little more seriously. Trust me, junta was deprived of sooo many posts coz i did not have a machine during my 'Eureka' moments. Anyway, this month's quote is about a little God bashing.
"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers."
- Scott Adams.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Feb 15th, 3 p.m. and I am all set wearing my Best of the Beast T-shirt… geared up for the Iron Maiden Concert. I had come to Bangalore to see the GODS perform. Man! What a feeling it was. I came alone to the concert. Yes, all ****ing alone. Not one dog to accompany me….. Eddie will come in your dreams and scare you to death and you will end up wetting your bed. Bloody bollywood bitten jerks… These are the retards who watch gay movies from Chopra and Johar stable. Some people wanted to come but couldn’t make it…… I respect that. Some just dint want to come. Hope they get rabies and syphilis.
I was at the gates of palace grounds and what a scene it was. Almost every person was wearing the black Iron Maiden T-shirt (some assholes were wearing Metallica and Slayer Ts ….. This is Blasphemy). There were kids, uncles n aunties, grandpas and grannies…. I even saw a person with crutches. Watching all of ‘em I realized that “Eddie Effect” was far more intense than what I presumed it would be in India.
It took me some time to get settled. I decided to have Pav Bhaji and a soft drink for which I stood in the long queue waiting for my turn. I finished filling my stomach. I was back, standing closer to the smaller stage, head banging. Things started to move in the center stage. It was time for Parikrama’s gig. People started moving closer. I had occupied a strategic location, quite close to the stage and surrounded by hot chicks with ‘goth’ look. Suddenly I started to feel pressure in my bladder. I did not want to test my bladder’s endurance so I decided to take a pee. Before I knew someone else occupied my "strategic location". My bladder let me down.
I go to the toilet only to find ceramic sinks fitted to a plywood structure. I pull my zipper down and do my work. But the universe would not let me piss in peace. A drunken guy kicked the structure and the entire thing fell down. Police ran in and there was lathi charge. I was in a helpless position with my pee-pee in hand. I shouted for mercy. The constable must have felt pity on me…. I was spared.
I was standing pretty far from the center stage. I missed my old place. Parikrama was there but the crowd wouldn’t stop the relentless chant “Maiden”. I must confess that I am not much of a Parikrama fan and I’ve not heard most of their numbers either…. But their performance that day truly deserved applause. They played a song with Hebrew name(I forgot the name, sorry), “Am I dreaming” and “Tears of the wizard”. The last two were inspired by Lord of the Rings (hehe haha). Lotr Rules! Heard of any bands getting inspiration from Harry Butthole ***** Potter, eh? I will soon write a poem n dedicate it to Harry’s infinite gayness.
Ok, back to the show. Parikrama was done and it was time for the GODS to descend and enthrall all the metalheads gathered there. The stage blacked out. Everyone was waiting in anticipation for pioneers of British heavy metal. They came with a bang…. “Children of the Damned”. Music that would blow your brains away. The crowd was totally turned on by numbers like Aces high, Hallowed by thy name, Run to the hills, Number of the beast, Wasted years and Iron Maiden. When they played Trooper and Fear the of the Dark everyone had musical orgasm. It dint matter whether you knew the person standing next to you. You sing together, you bang your heads together, you talk like you knew each other for years. There were Indians, Caucasians, Africans and Chings ….. Color did not matter. Only thing that mattered was that everyone worshipped Maiden.
The concert ended but the crowd just had one resounding demand, “We want more!”. I took a bow to the Gods. I started walking to a place where traffic would be less punishing. I was exhausted and found a decent place to sit. Every bike or car carrying Maiden fans would see me sitting ( me = Yet another metalhead wearing Maiden Tshirt) and raise their fist and shout “Ye!”. I was more than happy to reciprocate. Some even offered a lift. I finally called my brother-in-law and he came to pick me up. Thanks to him and my cousin for being lovely hosts….moreover, I got to eat “Ghar ka Khana”.
Hope the GODS will be back next year, every year. Blissssss….
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Me: "I know you've had enough of this grumpy bastard whining but I don't get why am I the victim every time? Why am I being hunted? I just can't explain why things happen the way they happen. Its like this fucking universe is conspiring against me. If you think I've lost my mind then you can take my word, I've not. Things have become so predictable that I really don't have to wait for 'events' to occur. I already know my odds of ending up on the losing side."
It: "Think of the people who are not as privileged as you are."
Me: " Yeah right. You expect me to starve because some kid in sub-Saharan region dint have food. I know the universe is never fair to anyone but why screw me like this?"
It: "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good, is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.All this wont stop until your back is broken."
Me: "Wtf ?"
It: "Yes..... Would you agree that there is 'something' that is still keeping you afloat?"
It:"You are like that Neo trapped inside the Matrix. Your only hope is to connect to the Nebuchadnezzar."
Me:"This metaphysical mumbo jumbo will not do any good."
It: "Try completing this: If you can't beat them......??!"
Me: ".....join them?"
It: "Untrue.....If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. The best way to predict the future is to create it. Compassion and mercy for people will not do much. People won't reciprocate. Use them. I think you are smart enough to realize that things like friendship and love are just nature's way of deceiving and deluding us. To quote your own words 'There is a backstabber in every human being'. There is always a choice, always. Make sure you ensure your survival. "
Me: "You want me to add 'Darth' as prefix to my name now, eh?"
It: "Conquer your mind first."
Me: "I am not convinced."
It: "A few lines by The Great One:
'You are your only master.
And discover your master.'
You have access to something which others don't....that makes you different. I'll leave you to discover things by yourself. Always remember, to a mind that is still, the universe surrenders."
P.S: No queries will be answered with reference to this post. This post was neither fiction nor non-fiction. Typos were accidental.