Monday, April 28, 2008

Quote of the month

"A soul needs a purpose to live... and so I concluded that my purpose was to kill everyone besides myself. I felt alive..."

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Signs

Dear Men,
Our time on earth is over.... The signs are showing up.

First Penis Thefts in Congo: This is much talked about news. Men loosing penis... Awww! Its like a black mamba without fangs. link
Why would someone steal a penis? I evaluated some possibilities:
Evil sorcerers ask their clients ( in their +60's) to sacrifice 10 dicks for everlasting erection. I'd suggest them to visit any porn site and sign up. They'd receive plenty of offers with attractive discounts on viagra n cialis. That should solve the problem.
OR maybe the voodoo doctors might just come up with the first voodoo dick ( voice automated with speech recognition). Welcome to the world of organic dildos.

The Third Eye speaks: 40% of male population is non-penile ( politically correct term for dickless). Penis rights groups pop up everywhere. Discrimination against the non-penile, they form a lobby and demand affirmative action in US and reservation in India ( birth of political parties like Bina lund paksh which would "rise to the occasion"). Use of the word dickless is considered derogatory and offensive. Any use could lead to a 2 year jail term. Paris Hilton accuires a a fake dick. My-crow-soft launches its next OS which also comes in a special non-penile edition.

Ban on Fake testicles on vehicles : Testicles, the pride of man. Majestic balls with mane hanging around gives men an air of superiority. Fake testicles add to the pleasure by constantly reminding them of what they own..... THE BALLS. Ban on the fake ones would lead to exponential rise in accidents. link

Save Men.... and their jewels.

Monday, April 21, 2008

First encounter with a blog spammer

13 hours ago Telefone VoIP left a comment on my post "Fact of the Month". It went something like this:

"Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Telefone VoIP, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://blahblah. A hug. "

I used a tunnel to visit the jerk's blog..... ahh, Portuguese blog with only one post on some phone crap. Trying to garner free publicity by telling nice things about people, eh?! Not gonna work.

I've got two things to say to this moron:
1] Learn English
2] Stop spamming. I hate spammers.

The comments on his/her only post were so lame that I couldn't help laughing. Take a look at this one for example: "Hey thanks for the comment, your blog is also likeable, well the info of the phone could be helpful."

"blog is likeable" =)) "info of the phone could be helpful" ..... too much yaar.

Get a life Sucker!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Fact of the Month

Nothing beats this: Every year an average person will unknowingly consume roughly one ounce of feces. Yuck!
[ I wonder why the word "unknowingly" has crept into the sentence. Why would someone want to make the above fact less obvious?? Nasty thought, I know. ]

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Quote of the Month

"A Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level... Then, they'll beat you with experience."

-Jack Coleman

The Bane of Stupidity

A cultural festival in my college, phew! Public display of idiotica. Idiotica is to idiots what erotica is to erotic [ bad analogy, i know]. Well, somethings don't change and somethings cant change.

As i expected, it was a flop show. I was there for dance(watching babes shake their hips) and quiz(my neuro-tonic). The dance event was plagued by breaks n jerks in the background tracks. The CDs provided by the participating groups had to take all the blame since they were scratched, allegedly all of 'em. Hmm.... strange.

The General Quiz was a real disaster and a big let down.

Prelims: Logic design, Basic Electronics, Biology and Chemistry revisited. Questions included finding out 10's complement of numbers, finding logical expression to represent a circuit, some problems on op-amps n loads of electronic crap. Added to this there were enzymes, wierd microscopes n chemicals. There were three questions on Harry Potter which i din't know [ you know me, I hate that son of a bitch Harry].

The finals: Some moron who never did his homework was the quizmaster. He was into Human Resource.
Finals: 50% talk on HR topics + 50% stupid questions = 100% bullcrap.

Each question had 4 options to choose from. Every question in the PowerPoint presentation was followed a slide which had the answer. After each question the quiz master said "Lets find out answer. Go to the next slide please". The quiz master clearly had no clue of the answer for any question. Some slides even contained the way in which the answer was supposed to be pronounced: "ec-kid-na" for echidna. Get a life sucker!

Stupid quizzes have become a part of the college fest now just like the fashion weeks with wardrobe malfunctions, inseparable.

One last question for the you

The Quiz was
1) Stupid
2) Retarded
3) blasphemous
4) All of the above.

No points for guessing the answers.