Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Wierdos... FSM save me!

Yesterday I'd been to the college to get my provisional marks card... Hehehe I am telling u the half truth. Other reason I went was to check if the gals in the new batch lived up to the hype n hoopla surrounding them. Damn! disappointing again. Ok, screw that... The worst part was the journey back home. A friend of my friend, whom i barely know sat next to me in the bus... the conversation began with courteous "hi" from me and an animated "hi" from him. He then asked "When is your joining date?". Crap! that was the 'n'th time someone was asking me the question yesterday...btw its on sep 15th. Ok, forget it. He turned to me and started the monologues. It went something like this:

Characters in the plot: He, Me and the Voice in my head(VIMH).
Please note: The VIMH is capable of interrupting the conversation.

He: "did you hear about 2012?"
Me: "doomsday crap?"
He: "Yes. U can visit NASA website and check out the details. There are lot of theories and predictions revolving around this. There are videos in youtube.... its very scary."

Me: "Ok." [ I did not want to encourage him, but he never stopped]
He: "You know, all this was a secret not known to the public but I am releasing it privately. I want all my friends to know about it."
Me: "Hmmm.."
He: "There is this planet Nebiru. Its a secret planet... thats why they call it planet X. They say it will pass very close to the earth. It will be visible to the naked eye in 2009. It will destroy almost all life on the earth before 2012. The US government knew this from 1993...they were monitoring the planet from south pole. They dint disclose it to avoid panic."
VIMH: Ya, like I care. Hope tht planet kills you.

He: "Nebiru is a very huge planet... Its bigger than Jupiter. They say there are aliens living there who are 36 feet tall."
VIMH: You suck! Now tell me they have a 36 feet long penis, jerk.....
He: "there are more theories...."
VIMH: Is he not done yet!?
He: "This kind of destruction happens once in 2000 years... like flood during Noah's time, Ice age 1 and Ice age 2... the dinosaurs "

VIMH: Information dissemination by an uninformed intellectually challenged person.Did u hear that Carlin?
He: "There will be a pole shift and earth will deviate from its axis. I asked my friends about the last thing they wanted to do before 2012. Most of them replied the wanted to do 'that'*. What would you want to do?"
Me: "I'd think of surviving instead of doing 'that'."

He stopped his commentary and started dozing off [thank FSM!].... I was about to reach my destination when the bus driver started showing the maneuverability of the bus. He could put the F-22 pilots to shame. He applied the brakes and yelled at a truck driver "Ninna ammerna roada, byawersi?" [translation: Is this your father's road, bastard?]. I watched the dragon wake up from its slumber.... ah, helpless!

He: "Are you a part of my group?"
Me, now petrified : "what group?"
He: "SMS gupshup group... I send messages to my friends"

The bus had not yet stopped... but i jumped out. I turned back and waved my hand hoping we never meet again.By then I was already feeling the numbness in the frontal lobe of my brain...

P.S : he pronounced gupshup as gupshup as opposed to gapshap....LMAO!

P.P.S : The real conversation was in Tulu, which I somehow manage to speak... I have used a lossy conversion algorithm for Tulu-English translation.

*I leave "that" to the reader's imagination. Mumbai trip part 2 will follow soon...

1 comment:

Nithin "Kitta" Shenoy said...

Too much man! I too ****in want to do 'that'!!