Friday, July 11, 2008

Toto Toilet: The Coolest Toilet

Konichiwa readers,

Holidays are the best days... u sleep, eat n sleep again. I just love 'em. Apart from watching movies that i missed out during the past 6 months, I've also started reading manga n watching anime. I love Naruto. The Japanese rock! They kick ass in every way. They are hardworking, polite, they have ramen and cool gadgets n gizmos. Whats more? they have Maria Ozawa. OMG! Nothing beats that, nothing. Not even a hundreds Silk Smithas put together.

Let me introduce you to a new wholesome experience of taking a dump, dumping reinvented by the Japanese. Although I've never had the privilege of trying it but its really got this "super awesomeness" in it.

Ladies, Gentlemen and Jerks... I present to you "Incredible Squirting Toilet". Check out the review on Cool Tools, Toto Washlet Toilet by Charles Platt.

Excerpts: As you lower yourself to the thermostatically warmed seat, a concealed motor whirs briefly, providing your first clue that you are about to encounter a piece of highly sophisticated technology. The toilet then remains silent and passive until you reach the point where you would normally apply paper. Instead, you hit the spray button. A hidden tube extends itself beneath you, and with the precision of a heat-seeking missile, it directs a spray of warm water that simultaneously tickles, stimulates, and cleans the place that needs it most. While its aim is meticulous, you can adjust its penetration by gently flexing your sphincter muscle. The experience is so unexpectedly and uniquely pleasurable, I found myself tempted to visit the toilet repeatedly just for recreational purposes.

Mr. Platt, you are a fine artist... i take a bow. I suggest the Japs to introduce this product in India. Pricing is a problem, i.e it costs $755 now but I am sure we can work things out in that front. Since most of the Indians prefer to wash their bottoms after taking a dump, this product would be appealing to each one of them. It also saves toilet paper.... "Save paper, Save Earth". See that? Its got a noble thought behind it. Finally I wanna say Arigatao Gozaimasu to the Japanese for making our lives better.

Finally my message to people who can afford to buy this cool toilet but still would stick to their wiping way: Use extra course sand paper for your unholy work [ preferably P12, ISO/FEPA Grit designation]. Hope your ass gets badly bruised.

Moral of the story: "Live hands free or Wipe hard" [this does not star Bruce Willis]

Suggested Reading:

How to celebrate Poop for Peace Day.

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