Monday, July 21, 2008

1st anniversary post: Why we are what we are

OK, big post for the big day. Big day? Its my blog's first anniversary, suckers! C'mon everyone, congratulate me n fire off a comment. You see, I can't write until I get cranky (yeah, driven by hatred, powered by anger).That's why I qualify to become a true Sith Lord (Feel the Force, Motherfucker! For Top Ten Things Samuel L. Jackson Should Have Said in the Star Wars Prequel check out: Star Wars Jokes ). I am not a regular guy. So people, don't judge me by my writing (u ain't know me yet).

Alrite, back to blogging... Humans, a bunch of tailless monkeys who are now the most dominant species of the planet Earth. From semi nude Cro Magnon hunters to jackasses who eat corn flakes for breakfast, from spears to assault rifles....We have grown leap folds over the past few 1000 years. All these achievements definitely makes us special, but are we different from other apes and monkeys?(Ok, I'll consider Michael Jackson too) are we different from other animals? The answers is plain and simple: FUCK NO!

Lemme elaborate how... I have already mentioned the similarity of human brain to Unix OS in one of my earlier posts. (Search which one, u lazy pricks!) We are just doing what the animals do, but in a different way.

Before I start, You need to know about 2 fundamental rules that hold good in case of every normal creature:
Rule 1: Self Preservation.
Rule 2: Reproduction, more the better. (Don’t blame the men for being horny, we can’t help it... its hardwired)

Why do men like voluptuous women with nice healthy breasts and wide hips? (Breasts = politically correct term for boobs)
The reason is a corollary of Rule 2. Men would like to have kids with women. Evidently, Feeble skinny women will not be able to carry babies in their bellies (the hip connection) n breast feed them later.

Why do women like men with muscle, money, power, status?
Its the fuckin cave man mentality.... Our ancestors lived in the wild there plenty of predators. What if a saber tooth tiger is hungry n wants to have ur woman for his appetizer? What if a Neanderthal from the neighboring cave is pissed of n kidnaps ur woman after he shoves his spiked club up ur cave-man ass? Strong partner will mean better protection and naturally their progeny would tend to carry the same "strong" traits. Money, power and status are able to give the protection that physical strength once gave men. So its nothing but the ancient "protect me" mentality which has manifested itself in accordance to the modern social environment.

Moving ahead, I would like to enlighten you on the thing called "love". Call it whatever u want: involvement, intimacy, togetherness, Affaire de Coeur.... as far as humans are concerned, all these finally break down into a four lettered bullshit called LOVE. This feeling of love is something new that humans have come up with. I am saying this coz love never existed in insects, reptiles, birds or mammals. Mammals have shown a degree of groupism (their version of togetherness) which can be seen in elephants, apes n others. Bisons/buffaloes form a circle putting the calves at its center when they are attacked by wolves. God Damn it! Wolves even have caste system.

Mammalian groupism has increased their chances of survival by a great extent. "Love" is nothing but this variation of mammalian groupism. Its symbiosis, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours philosophy. Where exactly this "Love" thing is headed and how will it affect our chances, I don't know. But what i do know is that no matter how different we claim to be or how advanced we are, we still continue use the service of the primitive reptilian kernel in our brain, which is pretty much Rule 1 and Rule 2.

George Carlin mentioned this in one of his stand up shows:
The Primate brain says, "Give peace a chance". The Mammalian Brain says, "Give peace a chance, but first, let's kill this motherfucker". The Reptilian brain says, "Kill the motherfucker, go to the peace rally and get laid."

Although George mentioned the above lines in a different context, the essence remains the same. What we are now doing is writing a shell that operates over the mammalian one. All co-centric. [I wrote a primitive pseudo shell over the bash shell 2 years back]

This is the brutal truth behind our weird brain and its not gonna change just because some imbecile punk with a herpes infested crotch thinks differently. DID U FUCKING GET ME? and yeah,don't beg to differ...coz if you do then *#....censored....*#. And yeah, as I always say, Selfless Love is an oxymoron... if u are suffering from it then consult a psychiatrist.

Suggested reading:
Books by Richard Dawkins



The Rebel said...

I used to thing that the existence of The Two Rules and their importance to even human behaviour would be common sense. But I was wrong.

Well put explanation there. I concur.

But you still haven't justified how you claimed that infatuations were caused by peer pressure of all things.

TheChaosmonger said...

@ the rebel,
oh! thts the roopesh's blog story. Well, Is peer pressure the only reason why people go for "relationships"? Ans: No.
Is peer pressure the one of the reasons why people go for "relationships"? Ans: Yes.

One would not like to be left out of the crowd, esp wen every dog has a date these days... If gettin laid is a part of the deal then tht makes it worthwhile.

Also, having a GF adds value to ur net worth, in a social sense. I personally find people who had GF's in the past are more successful in getting new ones when compared to rookies. U will be deemed to be fit for courtship by the new GF coz the previous ones have already screened u [corollary of rule 2].

A comeback-roopeshrn said...

hey venki tell u what..u can actually try for being the most sarcastic guy on earth..GOD..the way u put things across!!dude but 1 thing is certain.most ppl would agree with u from within but not many ppl hav t guts 2 tell it like u..hats off buddy..or rather I bow 2 ur feet..hehe..and finally congrats on ur blog anniversary..u rock venki,ya u do..

TheChaosmonger said...

@ roopesh,
Poor venki does not have anything to do with this blog. he is a very nice, humble n sweet guy(source: as told by others). there is a sitcom "everybody loves venki" coming on star world soon...I am his dark side. If he is Yang then I am Yin, TheChaosMonger, his antithesis.(*background: evil laugh)

No reality show has come up with the "most sarcastic guy on earth" theme yet... But i'll win hands down, dont worry. And thanks for words of appreciation(I wish some hot chicks visit this blog). Force be with you.