Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Anti-Alchemist

Have u ever felt that the world/universe has been unjust & unfair to u? Well, I certainly do. Every time I yearn for something, the expected outcome never turns up. All i get is 55% - 65% of what i should have got.

U'd say that i did not work hard enough. I disagree. I have put more effort than what was required to get "the desired result". Maybe u think its smart work that really matters. To be honest my strategies were pretty fail safe [ even otherwise, Homo superiors are inherently smart ].... But I did not succeed in getting things done the way i had planned before. What do u think the reason was?

I'd say it was luck/fortune factor that was missing.....Yes, the very fucking luck. No matter what u do or how hard u try, u'll never get what u deserve. This is the very essence of my ANTI-ALCHEMIST theory. The world/universe is conspiring against you, its waiting for a chance to fuck u. Sometime its fucks u so hard that your ass gets badly ruptured,wounded n shattered.

Monday, August 27, 2007

A word for my readers

For Homo superiors:
As the blog author i expect my blog readers to spend a few minutes writing comments. It doesn't matter if u liked my blog or not....but make sure u post ur opinion. It will definitely help me write better.

For Homo posteriors(Assholes):

Listen up assholes, it takes times n effort to write all this...... if u like my blog then do tell me. If u did not like it then u can go n fuck yourself. This blog is not a fucking piece of toilet paper which u use to wipe ur filthy ass once u hav finished blowing shit off. So start posting comments ( maybe i upgrade u to the status of a lesser asshole)

Note to Assholes: Ur opinions will not make any difference.

The rise of Assholism: The mind

Assholism has already infected the minds of mortals, but to what extent is the question. If u think u r immune to assholism then read on.

Try analyzing this situation: U dont want to do "something". U know tht this "something" will lead u to nothing but u still go for the "something".

Lets say u r asked to put your money on "something". You know tht "something" is not worth the deal and u r pretty sure that u'll lose ur money. But u neglect or suppress this rational and sane voice speaking inside u asking not to get screwed up. U r brain, which is now addicted to assholic reasoning will convince u to put ur money into "something".

Ever been in such situation? I bet u did.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

The rise of Assholism: The Internet

The Chaos Maniac speaks on spread of Assholism on the internet.

Assholes dint even spare the internet.....take a look @ this Amy Bruce's chain mail which is of historic importance, the pseudo bitch has been around for quite sometime now.

"Hi, my name is Amy Bruce.I am 7 years old, and I have severe lung cancer from second hand smoke. I also have a large tumor in my brain, from repeated beatings. The doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. The Make A Wish Foundation, has agreed to donate 7 cents for every name on this list. For those of you who send this along, I thank you so much, but for those who don't send it, what goes around comes around. Have a Heart, please send this. Please, if you are a kind person, send this on."

Yeah....I am sure u must've got a bunch of such AssHolic chain mails. Ever tried to analyze why people send such stupid mails? You can fall into one of these categories:

1] You r an asshole who forwards such email. U never cared to think [ u can't think, assholes cant]. U just forwarded this mail as u were asked to do my this pseudo bitch/bastard like Amy Bruce.

2] You knew this mail was a hoax n u still forwarded it. U r a upcoming asshole. Assholes have sold their wisdom to u n u've bought it with pleasure. Very soon u'll mutate into a fully functional asshole...... Damn it! The list of my allies grows thinner. GFU.

3] You r probably the surviving remnant of Homo superior species. Stay on guard .....

Amy Bruce's chain mail was a example of conventional assholism...... darker days have come now, 21st century has witnessed the rise of Neo-Geeky Assholes. Try this...

"Dear user because of sudden rush of people signing upto orkut is come to an attention that we are vastly running our of resources so with in a week any one who does not receive this scrap will be deleted of our server. We know that you are still using this account We want to find out which users are actually using their orkut accounts so if you are using your then please send this scrap to every orkut user that you can if u do not pass this scrap to anyone then we will delete your account."

for other variants visit:

This was just a speck of the terror which assholes have unleashed on the internet. I was shocked to learn that good number of my friends n acquaintances were very enthusiastic about spreading such stupid chain mails.....freakin assholes, i hate them, all of them. Believe it or not.... some allegedly smart guys/gals [ scoring very good grades in the college ] forward such crap. This is a testimony to the wise proverb: "An Asshole in Mans clothing".

Eat Shit And Die (ESAD) u bitches/bastards. U deserve to die......

Note: If u've just realized tht u r an asshole then kill yourself without wasting any time. N yeah, Ignore the typos.

Leave your comments behind, u dumb asses......

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Asshole mania....

Earth, the third rock from the sun. The harmonious planet which is home to hundreds of millions of species, the most notable being Homo sapiens. Earth harbors more than 6.7 Billion people [ http://www.netlingo.com/more/poptick.html , dated Aug 14 2007, 17:33 PM, Indian standard time]

You might be thinking: "thats old news.....Y the hell is TCM creating shit out of it?" Well, the answers is quite workable. You have learnt the answer, realized it but u might have overlooked it. The basic fact remains the same that more than 90% of the human population will satisfy the criteria to be called as assholes[Homo posterior] whether u agree or not. This will be evident if u look around yourself.

U r surrounded by assholes. They have infected the humanity with their moronic wisdom. Their presence has spread like a plague....corrupting,killing and creating more assholes. Everyday u'll find them everywhere around u.

The next time u c assholes don't forget to remind them that they are still ASSHOLES.

Asshole mythology
The Divine Monster(DM) had an intention of creating an superior class of mammals.... so DM created earth, populated it with different species and he also created the superior "real" humans [ Homo superior] . Then he thought of creating assholes[ Homo posteriors, who coincidently looked just like humans] to serve the "real" humans. The real humans, the good fellas that they were, never bothered to keep an eye on their slaves. These assholes started multiplying and after a few thousand years.......the Homo superiors turn into a minority.

Asshole Trivia: The word asshole had its origins from the biological name Homo posterior.

I dedicate this ugly post to all the assholes who have showed up in my life, esp the ones who showed up recently. I want to say "Fuck Off" to all of them for making my life worse than what it was before. GFU(go fuck urself) for putting in your dedicated and consistent efforts towards making my life shittier than ever.

For more information on assholes u can visit:

Note: The above post is not applicable if the reader himself/herself is an asshole. Typos r not regretted.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Menace of Religio-Maniacs

Hey mortals, check this story out:


A whole bunch of messy Kanwarias who call themselves Shiva devotees went on rampage yesterday coz 7 of them were run over by speeding trucks. Now this "whole bunch" ain't a small number.... its probably more than 800. Two such incidents happened, one in varanasi n other in manesar. These Kanwarias (retards the seem 2 me) pelted stones and set fire to every vehicle in their line of sight. The violent protests lasted for around 3 hours blocking the National Highway and causing shitfull of damage to public vehicles.

Now these retards are demanding compensation for the victims killed in the accident, which the state government have gladly obliged [ even central government for that matter would have done he same, bloody populists] .
State transport Buses, trucks n even tractors have been burnt by the retards...... My suggestion would be to arrest the retards, rip their kidneys n eyes n sell them in the black market to the highest bidder. The money you earned can be used to compensate the loss of public property. Wait! ..... Were u thinking of castration? Well, balls r of no use to anyone...... we'll keep this option open [ wat if someone succeeds in testicular transplantation?]
Kill the Religious fanatics...... If u do so u can be assured of a place in heaven [if there exists any]

post the fucking comments.....

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


Not getting enough speed when u download using torrent? To know if u r using ur bandwidth properly, download Open Office or some LINUX distro's using torrents. They will hav good number of seeds. Connection should max up within a few minutes. If the speed is not close to the bandwidth "promised" by your ISP then u can improve the speed.

Windows XP SP2 max half open tcp connection=10. This value was set to minimize the spread of viruses. U can change it to any values between 50 - 100, but not more. This will get u in touch with more peers.

Tcpip.sys PATCH
Patch will also correct CRC.

This procedure is for Huawei WA1003A routers. Procedure for other routers will be similar if not the same.

1] switch router/modem on(watever u call it!) > open IE > type in address bar > username:admin password:admin

2] goto ADVANCED (top horizontal)> goto LAN CLIENTS (left vertical) > IP:, HOSTNAME: watever u like, leave MAC addrs blank. ADD, APPLY.

3] go2 PORT FORWARDING > in the CATEGORY coloumn select USER > add a NEW rule

4] give some RULE NAME, PROTOCOL: TCP and UDP, PORT START: preferably any port number b/w 45000 - 2^16, PORT END: same number as u gav in port start, PORT MAP: same number as u gav in port start. APPLY

5] go2 PORT FORWARDING > in the CATEGORY coloumn goto USER > new rule u created shud show up now > click on ADD > now rule should appear in APPLIED RULES coloumn. APPLY, but dont close IE now,minimize.

6] open utorrent, OPTIONS > SPEED GUIDE > put the port number n check if it works....u'll b redirected to utorrent website,
n port testing results will b displayed.

7] If it is workin then u get ready 2 kick ass! click on USE SELECTED settings in SPEED GUIDE.


*NOTE : IF U DON'T KNOW WHAT U R DOIN THEN DONT DO IT. I am not responsible in anyway if ur box gets fucked up when u tweak the settings,n yeah ignore the typo's.

If doubts r still persisting then post them as comments.......

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Scary Farter-4

Farter Mania continues.....

Baldemort now learns about Scarys newly acquired skills. His next mission was to learn a spell that could counter Scary's ability to raise FFISC. He travels far east to learn new skills from the spell masters of the orient. In one of the ancient Ass-magic books he learns of a spell called....hold ur breath.....yessss....."INFLATUS ASSIUS" [5 points if u got it right].

DAMAGE: Inflates the ass....The inflation is to such a degree that the victims asshole gets sealed due to the tightening of butt cheeks. This stops the victim from farting.... wind energy gets stored in the intestines n causes irreversible damage,consequently causing an IMPLOSION in the victim leading to death. The victim craps before he dies.[ Sir Eric Cartman known for his legendary wisdom proved this in south park, btw I've knighted him for his contribution to humanity ass-a-hole ]

realizes that this spell can be very effective against Scarys Spells. [ Scary Trivia: Scarys spell come out of his ass, not his mouth]. Equipped with this spell Baldemort returns to Fagwarts.... He is now ready to face Scary in the final battle, the battle of Assholes (scary) Vs Evil (Baldemort).

Note to the mortals:
U r a fan of south park- You get +5
U like Cartman- a bonus 5 .....
U dont like southpark - You will die due to sealed asshole
U have never heard of Southpark.....or even worse, u dont know Cartman- U will die farting n spend an eternity in hell doing the same.

References : Southpark-something wall mart this way comes
: You guys know what? The last thing you do when you die, is crap your pants.
Stan: ...What?
Cartman: Yeah, when you die, your jowels release and crap comes flying out your ass.
Kyle: That is f****** stupid, Cartman!
Cartman: Oh yeah?! I'll bet you five bucks that when you die you crap your pants, asshole!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Monkey Mania ends....

Kanpur is the place in news..... first we had the kanhaiya baba n now the monkey mania comes to an end.

The monkey who terrorized the people of kanpur has finally been put behind the bars.....he's in jail. The monkey menace was prevalent in the Kanpur court area.... This monkey has already tasted more than 500 people. The lawyers in the court had to put a reward of Rs.10000 on the monkeys head.

Law experts now tell that lawyers themselves have broken the law by putting a reward on the monkeys head [ this is against some wildlife act]. I partially agree with the experts....I strongly believe that the monkey was sent to deal with Kanhaiya baba [ call it divine intervention ]. A bite of Baba's thingy would hav cured the monkey and cured the Baba as well [ u c that win-win situation? ].

Now that man is unnecessarily poking his nose in this matter [against the heavens will], I am sure that we can expect more action in the near future. C'mon monkey, we r with u[@least i am] ...... u can make it out of prison...... LET JUSTICE BE DONE UPON Mr.SHITFACE.

ur Comments plz

Friday, August 3, 2007

Scary Farter-3

Scary Farter returns....

Scary has now turned into a complete asshole. People in Fagwarts are getting massacred. Baldemort designs his line of action to finish off Scary with help of Boobus Bumblebore.

Scary has now learnt new skills in Black-AssMagic. He can now raise level raise level-9 Fartoholic Fart Inducing Spell casters.

Enemy: Fartoholic Fart Inducing Spell Casters (FFISC)
Levels: 1- 10
DAMAGE: These unit keep farting until u go deaf. The blood vessels in ur ears burst n causes bleeding. Your ear starts vomiting blood. Units above level 6 can induce farts. You can die farting. Some cases have even reported people farting out their intestines.In worst cases ass rips open.

The war tht was foretold in the prophecy is now gettin realized. Factionism has started in fagwarts. Moronic Losers take Scary's side and Bad-asses take Baldemorts side. It is now just a matter of time......... the fate of fagwarts will be decided by the epic battle.

More to follow in the next post.....watch out for the action of the sissy boy wizard.