Monday, December 10, 2007

A little tweak to boost internet speed

AAhhhhhh... this blog hardly seems to have loyal visitors ( coz the first-timers wouldn't bother to come back after exposure to my harsh language n rants).

Wanna get that extra speed??
Here is a tweak for speed mongers:

Goto run> type gpedit.msc > Computer configuration> Administrative templates> Network> Now click on QoS Packet Scheduler ( Morons can read on: a single click on QoS, I've not asked u to expand tht thing)

Now on the right side panel u can find Limit Reservable Bandwidth. U can enable it and set the bandwidth limit % to 0.
Windows XP they say reserves some percentage of ur bandwidth. Did u forget to say THANKS to assholes at my-crow-soft?

NOTE: This tweak works only on Win XP pro, not home.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Believe it or not.....

I was just diggin into my old email n i saw this forward. Facts r really stranger than fiction.

- In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

- In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

- Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick?)

- The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Wonder which head?)

- There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

- In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

- Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

- In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

- In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

- In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam, however)


I dont know who compiled all this data, but whoever it is, i bow to him.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

South Park will be free now.....

Great news people (if anyone is reading)....South Park will be online now n whats more? its freeeeeee...
"MTV Networks, the biggest division of Viacom Inc. has announced plans to make every South Park episode available online for free as part of a plan to make the show available to a larger audience."

MTV to cut down on P2P piracy by offering free South Park downloads

I couldn't ask for more.....

Friday, November 30, 2007

Orkut is banned shit

Ok assholes, m tired explianing this to each one.... guess all of 'em have emptied their brains. So here is the procedure....

Tht malware is written in autohotkey script. Does not deal much a "damage" as such....it only shows that there r plenty of lusers out there in the world who own a computer n use internet.
Nicely written, i must say.... whoever has written this is a smart ass.
You get messages like "Orkut is banned you fool, The administrators didnt write this program guess who did?? MUHAHAHA!! with title ORKUT IS BANNED".
Variants of the malware (does not deserve to be called a virus or trojan) have come up.

What this Script does?
Copies itself to either C:\heap41a or %temp%\MsData , both the directories r superhidden.
Runs among the proceses as svchost, under the user's name (probably).
Probes for new devices in the machine.... usb drives r the favourites . when found copies itself.
keeps a backup in system32 as winlogons.exe (note the name, its not winlogon.exe).

Contents of heap41a and MsData:
svchost.exe , drivelist, monitor, MicrosoftPowerPoint.exe (superhidden), autorun.inf (superhidden)....and maybe some other shit.

  • To remove,first terminate the svchost.exe which operates from heap41a or MsData [ if u do not know how to do this then u deserve to suffer...i hope your box crashes, die luser ].
  • Then quickly remove the heap41a or MsData folders or all the data in them.
  • goto system32 n remove winlogons.exe.
  • goto regsitry n delete the entry that contains with winlogons.exe (if it exists.)

This should do the work.....if u dont know how to delete from the registry n where the system32 directory is then u can ESAD.

NOTE: Try using your brains the next time u get infected.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Roshambo: The most Xtreme Sport

This is an unbelievable video.... i wonder what kind of balls it would take to indulge in this sport. Balls of steel will do, titanium will be better. Its called Roshambo, perhaps most extreme sport in modern times. Rules are pretty simple, last man standing wins. Watch the video for the “real” action.

I would suggest Indian Government to come forward n promote this sport. One Roshambo club in every town: this may well be the one stop solution for India's population crisis.

People don’t seem to show much of a liking to contraceptives here, esp condoms. Condoms are used everywhere except for birth control. Some of the other uses include: building water proof roofs, for constructing the roads (mixed with bitumen)......whats next? Bullet proof jackets?!


Faint hearted men r not advised to watch this coz u may end up with your balls in your mouth.





Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Scary Farter-5

Sorry chaps for keeping u waiting for soooo long.... no readers, no comments, no inspiration to blog. U get the correlation?



Ok, comming back to Scary's sissy adventure....lemme pick it up from where i left:

Scary now comes learns of Boobus Bumbleboore's deceit. He realizes that his principal has turned against him for the greater good of humanity. Scary plans to kill Boobus before he can cause any damage.

Boobus was a Gay. He fell for a guy named Spindlebald, who was a janitor at Fagwarts[ Love is blind, it sees no status ]. They often met at a location deep inside AppleFart forest outside Fagwarts, for they did not want the world to know about their relation. Unfortunately Scary's intel sources give him a tip off about the meeting that was scheduled that very day.

Scary, the sick bastard that he is, along with a bunch of lusers plan a perfect murder. They would kill Boobus in the forest so that Spindlebald would be held guilty for it.

More to follow in the next post......

Monday, November 26, 2007

Origin of Religion

"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."
- Steven Weinberg
Nobel Prize in Physics,1979.


Religion, God, Faith.......these have claimed more lives than anything else in the history of mankind. These have been the reason for mans greatest inhumanity towards mankind. Yet people have not learnt anything.....
Tolstoy once said "Religion is the opium of masses". Had Tolstoy been alive today, I am sure he'd re-phrase it: "Religion is the plague of mankind" or maybe worse. [ how about H5N1? AIDS? ahhhh... Testicular cancer ]

They say human brain is wired in such a way tht it needs a "GOD". Let me elaborate this for u mortals:
The questioning ability first appeared in our ancestors who were either bushmen/herdsmen. It is since then man has pursued the answer to questions like "What is the purpose of existence?" ,"Why are things the way they are?" and others.

Our brain functions in strange ways..... It needs answers to such questions using its logic, reason n comprehension. What if it did not get answers to some questions? What if its analysis fails to give an outcome? The Answer is simple: Create an answer that would answer the question. Twist the answers, tweak it, mould it....but get a perfect explanation for the "existential mysteries".

This is were religion comes in. Carefully formulated n manipulated for centuries to give answers that would be acceptable to each one of its followers.

It is high time that mankind realizes that our fate is not bound to codes set by some herdsmen.

Sadly, for now, Compassion for the Devil seems to be sweeter than love for God. People kill each other for a promised place in heaven (which they have not seen) and for their Gods ( whom they have not met).

If u r one of those who still have not realised this basic fact n believe that i will burn in hell for this blasphemy....i've got one line for u:

Congratulations, Your heads must be up your ass.
or arse for that matter, hail queen?!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us




How has the geography of religion evolved over the centuries, and where has it sparked wars? Our map gives us a brief history of the world's most well-known religions: Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Judaism. Selected periods of inter-religious bloodshed are also highlighted. Want to see 5,000 years of religion in 90 seconds? Ready, Set, Go!


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

m back...

my box got messed up when i installed the "64" bit linux......fuck it. 32 bit ones still will kick 64 bit's ass any day. Shitty incompatible drivers didn't even allow me to connect to the internet. N wats more?! u cannot play songs,videos......none work without plugins [which again requires internet ]. u cannot install any softwares bcoz the yum installer need a working "network connection".....WHAT THE FUCK DO U EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO WITH THIS DUMB PIECE OF SHIT?????

Friday, September 7, 2007

OPERA strikes back

Opera kicks ass! but now IT RIPS ASS!

Opera 9.5
link:http://www.opera.com/products/desktop/next/

Opera has striked back, yes it has. The features are awesome. Opera 9.x passes the ACID2 test case designed by the Web Standards Project to identify web page rendering flaws in browsers. Opera's share of browser market is a mere 0.5-1%, quite saddening :-( . This is another proof for my Asshole theory. Some Fucking retards continue to use the browsers from stone-age [ u know wat m talkin abt, don't u?! ], get a life morons.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Anti-Alchemist

Have u ever felt that the world/universe has been unjust & unfair to u? Well, I certainly do. Every time I yearn for something, the expected outcome never turns up. All i get is 55% - 65% of what i should have got.

U'd say that i did not work hard enough. I disagree. I have put more effort than what was required to get "the desired result". Maybe u think its smart work that really matters. To be honest my strategies were pretty fail safe [ even otherwise, Homo superiors are inherently smart ].... But I did not succeed in getting things done the way i had planned before. What do u think the reason was?

I'd say it was luck/fortune factor that was missing.....Yes, the very fucking luck. No matter what u do or how hard u try, u'll never get what u deserve. This is the very essence of my ANTI-ALCHEMIST theory. The world/universe is conspiring against you, its waiting for a chance to fuck u. Sometime its fucks u so hard that your ass gets badly ruptured,wounded n shattered.

Monday, August 27, 2007

A word for my readers

For Homo superiors:
As the blog author i expect my blog readers to spend a few minutes writing comments. It doesn't matter if u liked my blog or not....but make sure u post ur opinion. It will definitely help me write better.


For Homo posteriors(Assholes):

Listen up assholes, it takes times n effort to write all this...... if u like my blog then do tell me. If u did not like it then u can go n fuck yourself. This blog is not a fucking piece of toilet paper which u use to wipe ur filthy ass once u hav finished blowing shit off. So start posting comments ( maybe i upgrade u to the status of a lesser asshole)

Note to Assholes: Ur opinions will not make any difference.

The rise of Assholism: The mind

Assholism has already infected the minds of mortals, but to what extent is the question. If u think u r immune to assholism then read on.

Try analyzing this situation: U dont want to do "something". U know tht this "something" will lead u to nothing but u still go for the "something".

Lets say u r asked to put your money on "something". You know tht "something" is not worth the deal and u r pretty sure that u'll lose ur money. But u neglect or suppress this rational and sane voice speaking inside u asking not to get screwed up. U r brain, which is now addicted to assholic reasoning will convince u to put ur money into "something".

Ever been in such situation? I bet u did.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

The rise of Assholism: The Internet

The Chaos Maniac speaks on spread of Assholism on the internet.

Assholes dint even spare the internet.....take a look @ this Amy Bruce's chain mail which is of historic importance, the pseudo bitch has been around for quite sometime now.

"Hi, my name is Amy Bruce.I am 7 years old, and I have severe lung cancer from second hand smoke. I also have a large tumor in my brain, from repeated beatings. The doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. The Make A Wish Foundation, has agreed to donate 7 cents for every name on this list. For those of you who send this along, I thank you so much, but for those who don't send it, what goes around comes around. Have a Heart, please send this. Please, if you are a kind person, send this on."

Yeah....I am sure u must've got a bunch of such AssHolic chain mails. Ever tried to analyze why people send such stupid mails? You can fall into one of these categories:

1] You r an asshole who forwards such email. U never cared to think [ u can't think, assholes cant]. U just forwarded this mail as u were asked to do my this pseudo bitch/bastard like Amy Bruce.

2] You knew this mail was a hoax n u still forwarded it. U r a upcoming asshole. Assholes have sold their wisdom to u n u've bought it with pleasure. Very soon u'll mutate into a fully functional asshole...... Damn it! The list of my allies grows thinner. GFU.

3] You r probably the surviving remnant of Homo superior species. Stay on guard .....

Amy Bruce's chain mail was a example of conventional assholism...... darker days have come now, 21st century has witnessed the rise of Neo-Geeky Assholes. Try this...

"Dear user because of sudden rush of people signing upto orkut is come to an attention that we are vastly running our of resources so with in a week any one who does not receive this scrap will be deleted of our server. We know that you are still using this account We want to find out which users are actually using their orkut accounts so if you are using your then please send this scrap to every orkut user that you can if u do not pass this scrap to anyone then we will delete your account."

for other variants visit:
www.breakthechain.org
www.freelists.org/archives/mit-ac6/07-2003/msg00004.html

This was just a speck of the terror which assholes have unleashed on the internet. I was shocked to learn that good number of my friends n acquaintances were very enthusiastic about spreading such stupid chain mails.....freakin assholes, i hate them, all of them. Believe it or not.... some allegedly smart guys/gals [ scoring very good grades in the college ] forward such crap. This is a testimony to the wise proverb: "An Asshole in Mans clothing".

Eat Shit And Die (ESAD) u bitches/bastards. U deserve to die......

Note: If u've just realized tht u r an asshole then kill yourself without wasting any time. N yeah, Ignore the typos.

Leave your comments behind, u dumb asses......

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Asshole mania....

Earth, the third rock from the sun. The harmonious planet which is home to hundreds of millions of species, the most notable being Homo sapiens. Earth harbors more than 6.7 Billion people [ http://www.netlingo.com/more/poptick.html , dated Aug 14 2007, 17:33 PM, Indian standard time]

You might be thinking: "thats old news.....Y the hell is TCM creating shit out of it?" Well, the answers is quite workable. You have learnt the answer, realized it but u might have overlooked it. The basic fact remains the same that more than 90% of the human population will satisfy the criteria to be called as assholes[Homo posterior] whether u agree or not. This will be evident if u look around yourself.

U r surrounded by assholes. They have infected the humanity with their moronic wisdom. Their presence has spread like a plague....corrupting,killing and creating more assholes. Everyday u'll find them everywhere around u.

The next time u c assholes don't forget to remind them that they are still ASSHOLES.

Asshole mythology
The Divine Monster(DM) had an intention of creating an superior class of mammals.... so DM created earth, populated it with different species and he also created the superior "real" humans [ Homo superior] . Then he thought of creating assholes[ Homo posteriors, who coincidently looked just like humans] to serve the "real" humans. The real humans, the good fellas that they were, never bothered to keep an eye on their slaves. These assholes started multiplying and after a few thousand years.......the Homo superiors turn into a minority.

Asshole Trivia: The word asshole had its origins from the biological name Homo posterior.

I dedicate this ugly post to all the assholes who have showed up in my life, esp the ones who showed up recently. I want to say "Fuck Off" to all of them for making my life worse than what it was before. GFU(go fuck urself) for putting in your dedicated and consistent efforts towards making my life shittier than ever.


For more information on assholes u can visit:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=asshole
http://www.thedipstop.com/Asshole.html


Note: The above post is not applicable if the reader himself/herself is an asshole. Typos r not regretted.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Menace of Religio-Maniacs

Hey mortals, check this story out:

story:http://in.news.yahoo.com/070807/211/6j5gp.html
video:http://in.news.yahoo.com/070807/211/6j5me.html

A whole bunch of messy Kanwarias who call themselves Shiva devotees went on rampage yesterday coz 7 of them were run over by speeding trucks. Now this "whole bunch" ain't a small number.... its probably more than 800. Two such incidents happened, one in varanasi n other in manesar. These Kanwarias (retards the seem 2 me) pelted stones and set fire to every vehicle in their line of sight. The violent protests lasted for around 3 hours blocking the National Highway and causing shitfull of damage to public vehicles.

Now these retards are demanding compensation for the victims killed in the accident, which the state government have gladly obliged [ even central government for that matter would have done he same, bloody populists] .
WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO COMPENSATE FOR THE LOSS OF PUBLIC PROPERTY?
State transport Buses, trucks n even tractors have been burnt by the retards...... My suggestion would be to arrest the retards, rip their kidneys n eyes n sell them in the black market to the highest bidder. The money you earned can be used to compensate the loss of public property. Wait! ..... Were u thinking of castration? Well, balls r of no use to anyone...... we'll keep this option open [ wat if someone succeeds in testicular transplantation?]
Kill the Religious fanatics...... If u do so u can be assured of a place in heaven [if there exists any]

post the fucking comments.....

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

MAXIMIZE YOUR TORRENT DOWNLOAD SPEED*


Not getting enough speed when u download using torrent? To know if u r using ur bandwidth properly, download Open Office or some LINUX distro's using torrents. They will hav good number of seeds. Connection should max up within a few minutes. If the speed is not close to the bandwidth "promised" by your ISP then u can improve the speed.

Windows XP SP2 max half open tcp connection=10. This value was set to minimize the spread of viruses. U can change it to any values between 50 - 100, but not more. This will get u in touch with more peers.

Tcpip.sys PATCH
http://www.lvllord.de/
ALSO READ:
http://www.lvllord.de/?lang=en&url=tools
Patch will also correct CRC.

PORT FORWARDING
This procedure is for Huawei WA1003A routers. Procedure for other routers will be similar if not the same.

1] switch router/modem on(watever u call it!) > open IE > type 192.168.1.1 in address bar > username:admin password:admin

2] goto ADVANCED (top horizontal)> goto LAN CLIENTS (left vertical) > IP: 192.168.1.2, HOSTNAME: watever u like, leave MAC addrs blank. ADD, APPLY.

3] go2 PORT FORWARDING > in the CATEGORY coloumn select USER > add a NEW rule

4] give some RULE NAME, PROTOCOL: TCP and UDP, PORT START: preferably any port number b/w 45000 - 2^16, PORT END: same number as u gav in port start, PORT MAP: same number as u gav in port start. APPLY

5] go2 PORT FORWARDING > in the CATEGORY coloumn goto USER > new rule u created shud show up now > click on ADD > now rule should appear in APPLIED RULES coloumn. APPLY, but dont close IE now,minimize.

6] open utorrent, OPTIONS > SPEED GUIDE > put the port number n check if it works....u'll b redirected to utorrent website,
n port testing results will b displayed.

7] If it is workin then u get ready 2 kick ass! click on USE SELECTED settings in SPEED GUIDE.

8] MAXIMIZE IE > goto TOOLS > SYSTEM COMMANDS > SAVE ALL


*NOTE : IF U DON'T KNOW WHAT U R DOIN THEN DONT DO IT. I am not responsible in anyway if ur box gets fucked up when u tweak the settings,n yeah ignore the typo's.

If doubts r still persisting then post them as comments.......

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Scary Farter-4

Farter Mania continues.....

Baldemort now learns about Scarys newly acquired skills. His next mission was to learn a spell that could counter Scary's ability to raise FFISC. He travels far east to learn new skills from the spell masters of the orient. In one of the ancient Ass-magic books he learns of a spell called....hold ur breath.....yessss....."INFLATUS ASSIUS" [5 points if u got it right].

Spell type: INFLATUS ASSIUS
DAMAGE: Inflates the ass....The inflation is to such a degree that the victims asshole gets sealed due to the tightening of butt cheeks. This stops the victim from farting.... wind energy gets stored in the intestines n causes irreversible damage,consequently causing an IMPLOSION in the victim leading to death. The victim craps before he dies.[ Sir Eric Cartman known for his legendary wisdom proved this in south park, btw I've knighted him for his contribution to humanity ass-a-hole ]

Baldemort
realizes that this spell can be very effective against Scarys Spells. [ Scary Trivia: Scarys spell come out of his ass, not his mouth]. Equipped with this spell Baldemort returns to Fagwarts.... He is now ready to face Scary in the final battle, the battle of Assholes (scary) Vs Evil (Baldemort).

[
Note to the mortals:
U r a fan of south park- You get +5
U like Cartman- a bonus 5 .....
U dont like southpark - You will die due to sealed asshole
U have never heard of Southpark.....or even worse, u dont know Cartman- U will die farting n spend an eternity in hell doing the same.
]

References : Southpark-something wall mart this way comes
{
Cartman
: You guys know what? The last thing you do when you die, is crap your pants.
Stan: ...What?
Cartman: Yeah, when you die, your jowels release and crap comes flying out your ass.
Kyle: That is f****** stupid, Cartman!
Cartman: Oh yeah?! I'll bet you five bucks that when you die you crap your pants, asshole!
}

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Monkey Mania ends....

Kanpur is the place in news..... first we had the kanhaiya baba n now the monkey mania comes to an end.

The monkey who terrorized the people of kanpur has finally been put behind the bars.....he's in jail. The monkey menace was prevalent in the Kanpur court area.... This monkey has already tasted more than 500 people. The lawyers in the court had to put a reward of Rs.10000 on the monkeys head.


Law experts now tell that lawyers themselves have broken the law by putting a reward on the monkeys head [ this is against some wildlife act]. I partially agree with the experts....I strongly believe that the monkey was sent to deal with Kanhaiya baba [ call it divine intervention ]. A bite of Baba's thingy would hav cured the monkey and cured the Baba as well [ u c that win-win situation? ].


Now that man is unnecessarily poking his nose in this matter [against the heavens will], I am sure that we can expect more action in the near future. C'mon monkey, we r with u[@least i am] ...... u can make it out of prison...... LET JUSTICE BE DONE UPON Mr.SHITFACE.


ur Comments plz

Friday, August 3, 2007

Scary Farter-3

Scary Farter returns....

Scary has now turned into a complete asshole. People in Fagwarts are getting massacred. Baldemort designs his line of action to finish off Scary with help of Boobus Bumblebore.

Scary has now learnt new skills in Black-AssMagic. He can now raise level raise level-9 Fartoholic Fart Inducing Spell casters.

UNIT DETAILS:
Enemy: Fartoholic Fart Inducing Spell Casters (FFISC)
Levels: 1- 10
DAMAGE: These unit keep farting until u go deaf. The blood vessels in ur ears burst n causes bleeding. Your ear starts vomiting blood. Units above level 6 can induce farts. You can die farting. Some cases have even reported people farting out their intestines.In worst cases ass rips open.


The war tht was foretold in the prophecy is now gettin realized. Factionism has started in fagwarts. Moronic Losers take Scary's side and Bad-asses take Baldemorts side. It is now just a matter of time......... the fate of fagwarts will be decided by the epic battle.


More to follow in the next post.....watch out for the action of the sissy boy wizard.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Kanhaiya Baba

TheChaosMonger Speaks on Religion.......I wanted to post this on Sunday, but had other important things to do. Scary Farter series will return soon, was busy these days (Creative crapping consumes time) ....so here it goes:

A baba from kanpur, who calls himself Kanhaiya Baba (Mr.ShitFace) stands on his devotees ( including children....even toddlers) to cure them. He claims to be a incarnation of Krishna (hindu god). Watch those assholes voluntarily putting their babies under the feet of that Shit-Face. What a loser..... WANT TO CURE SOMEONE ASSHOLE? HOW ABOUT ME CURING YOU? HOW ABOUT ME RIPPING YOUR BALLS OFF, SCUMBAG?

news:http://in.news.yahoo.com/070729/211/6ir7i.html

video:http://in.news.yahoo.com/070729/211/6ir7e.html

This is what happens when people turn Hyper-religious. I call it insanity. I am an agnostic ..... n i kinda get pissed of when i see such ass-holes. Y doesn't someone take up the noble work of castrating those people? We don't need their progeny(more assholes). Mr.Shitface is even worse...... fuckin scumbag. Have those people (esp parents) abandoned their senses? N make it a point to c the face of Mr.Scumbag in the video...... Fucking loser. Shoot tht asshole..... fuck the religion. I am a sane human being who can judge between right n wrong........ Why should i live under the shadow of religion?!? Why should anyone live under the shadow of religion?!?


Your comments.....?

note: IGNORE THE TYPO's n the FOUL LANGUAGE ( Did u like it? good. You Didn't? Who cares anyway..... >:) )

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Miss Monica?!?!

Monica Bedi, actress and a companion of underworld don Abu Salem,was released from jail. She has now turned to spirituality. Spirituality has become a rage these days among the ex-criminals.

Monica Turns Spiritual

The bollywood seems to be very keen on offering roles to the actress. We can expect another B-grade movie. How about a real life story? No points for guessing the title.... Its "Miss Monica". WTF?! Any takers for the movie? Don't forget to mention my name in the credits ...... ;-)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Miss Anara

Has the last drop of creativity in bollywood been spent?! HOLY GHOST! WTF!? After a series of remakes, preceded by lotsa movies getting "Inspired" (politically correct substitute for ripping) from Non-Indian cinema (primarily hollywood), we've now started counting on shitty "Real Life" stories.

I was chatting with a friend of mine ( Call him X, overdoing maths has its own disadvantages) a few weeks back when this movie just popped into our conversation. Now X is a kind of guy who never watches crappy movies. I asked him, mockingly, "Miss.Anara dekha?". 'Bang' came the reply, "Anara mein ab dekhne ke liye bacha he kya hai?" (pun intended) . I couldn't agree more.....

Stop making crappy movies! n even if u end up making one, DO NOT SHOW THEIR CRAPPIER TRAILERS ON T.V.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

porn mania in nigerian schools

Ok, I'll be honest,I had forseen this long back..... Nigerian school children were given laptops by U.S aid organization n they used it to explore porn sites. It was their idea of fun n learn i guess :-) . No surprises.....
Pupils browse porn on donated laptops

Scary Farter - 2

Scary lost his parents when he was a small kid. He lived with his uncle n aunt and made their lives turn into HELL [ a thought about Scary's fart would send shivers down their ass, I pity them :-( ]. Scary was then spotted by the fellas from FAGWARTS school of magic. They asked Scary to join Fagwarts, which he did.

Fagwarts was a place where jerks[ she-jerks included, i believe in equality of sexes] who were outcasts from the civilized world stayed. Scary had a nice time @ fagworts n became friends with a bunch of losers. Meanwhile, people who really cared for others (and themselves), begged Baldemort to save the world before Scary's farts killed everyone. Baldemort was the only person who showed resistance to Scary's fatal farts [ did i tell ya that this is a part of a ancient prophecy? Well, the prophecy said that Scary's farts will lead to extinction of all species if not stopped by Baldemort ]

Blademort readily agrees n decides to save this world from its apparent doom......

[to b continued...... the responsibility of saving the world now lies with Baldemort. Man! i luv this stuff ;-) ]

More to follow in the next post.....watch out for the action of the sissy boy wizard.

Scary Farter - 1

TheChaosMonger on Harry Potter....oops, sorry.... Scary Farter:

Scary Farter
, the famous boy-wizard......who doesn't know about him?
I bet u do....well, here's my take on that scum-bag.

Scary was born on a very unfortunate day. He had the talent of farting [ oops not just a fart but a level 5 tight-bun fart]. Everyone around him was choked 2 death....poor fellas.

Now Scary had an enemy, the Evil Baldemort [ the typical villain ]. Baldemort was know for casting very powerful and fatal spells on his enemies. The most lethal being "inflatus boobius" [ this is self explaining i guess].Scary was the only person to have survived the "inflatus boobius".....thanx 2 the scar on his ass-cheeks.

[to b continued......]
More to follow in the next post.....watch out for the action of the sissy boy wizard.

Friday, July 20, 2007

First post....

On the first day TheChaosMonger(TCM) had no bloody work,
On the 2nd day he thought of blogging,
On the third day he registered,
On the forth he started thinking shit,
On the fifth he wrote his first "content",
On the sixth he declared "let the blog begin"....and then came his blog.

Ok, enough of creationist crap, an introductory post will soon follow.....working hard on my disclaimer. Ideas r welcome.....

The ritual....

First things first,Let me invoke the Sith code before i start posting anything.

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Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
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Force be with you.